my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i may or may not be watching the land before time
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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