Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
