i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
