Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
