it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize