Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this boner is exhausting
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
not ubering you a puppy
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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