What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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