i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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