he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
