Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
