my sisters under your porch take her home
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
