My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize