just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
