Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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