I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize