Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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