Pappa wants mamma naked
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
