you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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