why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize