i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
