I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
