If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
