If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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