Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
