my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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