You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
