last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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