did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
