I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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