I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
