He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize