Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
