Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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