Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
