They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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