I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
