Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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