He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize