Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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