Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
