I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
