I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
