you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
