stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
