why didn't you poke me back
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
