That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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