I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
