This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
