Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
