We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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