FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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