well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
