I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
