is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize