I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
