Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
