omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
