I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
