Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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