You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
