I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
