we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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