Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
