He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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