My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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