why didn't you poke me back
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
