Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
