did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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