We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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